That Time of the Year Again, Ladies

So my dear friend, D, spoke to me from the Gchat-o-sphere today and told me I should blog about finding the perfect swim suit. I decided I would be perfect for giving this advice. Everyone who knows me knows I have the perfect bikini bod, a crisp, golden tan at all times (see last entry) and can always be found wearing that perfect suit.... you're welcome for that little chuckle. Men will never understand the thought and work that goes into picking the perfect suit. Especially with all those choices nowadays! (Can we please discuss the "one-piece" with the disgusting strip of material down the front and back? Talk about some killer tan lines!)

Now, if I know my girl D, she's thinking, "If only my rear end could be as perky as my boobs and as tight as my curls, I'd rock a thong on the lake all summer." While that might be entertaining for those of us who tend to poke fun at individuals in thongs, I think upon her quest for the perfect suit, she has ruled that one out for this summer.

Bandeau: This is the newer hotness. I say newer because those crazy one-piece "things" are popping up all over the place. I am a big fan of the bandeau. Here is my favorite suit of the season.


It can be found here. It is also a small fortune. Another point of interest is that I am not top heavy in the least. With that being said, you best be careful where you go diving with one of those mothers on! It is very likely to be ripped from your body at Mach 10 speeds, never to be seen again. This, my friends, is quite the predicament! No bandeau equals, well, topless.

Topless: Dear 8 pound, 6 ounce baby Jesus, Please make this option go away. Amen. This is just bad all the way around. Sure, it's legal in Mexico and other ridiculous places to go topless but SPARE US ALL. It is always the women that have no business exposing their goods who take advantage of this legality. Okay, maybe not always but I'd bet on a large percentage of the time.

Halter: Always a good option. Tie the top a bit tighter to give that extra lift so many of us not-so-blessed ladies desire.

Bottoms: I am partial to the bottoms with the sides that tie. This isn't to say I prefer "string bikini" bottoms. No sirree! You can get a good tying side bottom that doesn't create the dreaded muffin top and still has the coverage most classy, quarter of a century old girls such as myself prefer. Roxy and those surfer-esque brands are going to be a little skimpy on the rear end coverage. Take it or leave it, but don't say I didn't warn you! You could end up like this chick...

One-piece: I'll throw the ever popular tankini in here also. These are required for those working as lifeguards or camp counselors and those who just feel more comfortable behind threads. I have noticed quite the cute selection this year! Love this one from J.Crew!

I certainly hope my coverage of the hard-to-avoid swim suit will benefit a few. It is certainly not rocket science. Chances are, you look just fine. ....But on the bright side, you can always invest in a super cute cover up! And don't forget that SPF!